I feel confidence in my uncertainty!
This may sound like an oxymoron to some, but completely sums up my
thoughts and feelings after the readings, activities and our seminar. At school and in the classroom, I put on my teacher hat and off I go! I feel like I have to be sure and firm about
what I do. Not being sure and firm can
be seen as a weakness to students (or so I seem to feel, and maybe even some
teachers. I feel as though I cannot let
any insecurity be seen in order to maintain classroom management. I think that teachers wear this mask of
certainty to get our point across.
Another reason (not that I’m justifying anything) that teachers
naturally feel the need to be certain, is that we need to feel like we are
positive influences on our students – like we made a difference. Questioning that makes us feel like we did
not do all that we could do to further those students along their educational
path. What I am learning now is that the
more I question, the better I feel about what I do and I feel as though I am
doing more for my students. Lots of what
MacGinitie says in his article makes sense.
I feel like I am growing and learning as a teacher, more so now than in
my earlier years as a teacher because I am more open-minded and uncertain.
I enjoyed the ‘Hello, my name is…/not’ activity. I learned some new details about the circle
of educators I enjoy dialoguing with once a month at these seminars. I also learned quite a few details about
myself – identities I have, but do not necessarily pay any attention to. Some of these identities are positive and
some negative. Each identity can be used
to our advantage. For example, I don’t necessarily
like being identified by my nationality or the colour of my skin as a first
impression – “You know, that brown teacher…” as some of the students say. I understand why that happens, but I feel
that a lot of impressions get made and a true first impression is tainted. Yet, because I teach at a high school in
Scarborough, I might use that “brown teacher” label to identify with some of
the students. Expectations are set based
on some of the names we are called or identities we carry. I guess what comes from this is that we must
continue as we are and influence the thoughts of others to change – make them
question their impressions and recognize that their thoughts need to be
challenged and be more open. This goes
for myself as well. When I see my
students, I should not categorize them based on first sight or what I’ve
heard. This will be a good challenge for
me as I begin a new semester with new classes.
I may even attempt the same “hello, my name is…/not” with them (Thanks,
Vivian!).
Most of us remember the good conversation, and
I think we remember it because we connected with it in some way. I feel engaged in a good conversation. It is forcing me to use my brain and
think. In a conversation, one can hear
many points of view, expanding their present knowledge. When I have class discussions, I feel like
being engaged goes both ways – my students and I are both learning and making
connections. We are expanding on what we
know. We are making associations with previous knowledge. This knowledge then evolves to new knowledge
or expanded knowledge. We also bring who
we are into every conversation – our culture.
Our context differs based on our baggage. We in turn, offer something new to our
listeners. This type of learning, I’m realizing, can take place to teach and
learn about current issues as well as text.
The Brown article touches on this point.
No one reads the same piece of literature the same way. Everyone can have different conclusions. This is possibly why some novels or texts are
preferred by some and not others. The
powerful readings are the ones that have an impact on us. We see the world differently or we can see
light into a certain situation. To me
this is real reading. This is the type
of reading I enjoy. It is what I hope
students learn to do in order to expand their knowledge and understanding of
the world. Sometimes, though, there is
text that the students have to read
to learn something (curriculum). This
has made me realize that I should pause more in those readings and help my
students make those connections. I could
do this by telling stories, or giving them situations they can imagine
themselves in to make the text come alive.
If this sparks more conversation, I should be more open to let the
conversation flow. I should let them
bring their experiences into my classroom more so than I already do. This will give other students more
opportunity to make more connections as well.
Learning seems very simple, yet
complex at the same time.
As I being a new semester with new students and
new classes, I’m excited to teach with my new lens of uncertainty. I feel refreshed and recharged after the
seminar to take the courses I taught last semester and improve the way I
deliver them. I will continue to
question and change lessons. I am going
to try to let the students do more talking and conversing. I’m hoping to challenge them to become more
active learners. The tricky part about
class discussions is that there are times when the students want to keep
talking, which I like, but they do it to make time pass, so as not prolong receiving
their next assignment. (Tricky teens!! – they aren’t too quiet when they’re
pretending though!) I guess I will be to
judge how things are going and track the conversation. I’m looking forward to the challenge!
